
I will never forget the fear that coursed through my body the night I saw a friend’s boyfriend punch a pole right next to her head. I will also never forget the numerous red flags I saw in my own relationships, and in my friends’ relationships, throughout the years as my friends and I moved through the dating process as teens and adults. Having the opportunity to see healthy relationships protected many of us from some of the more frightening outcomes that could have been.
Violence prevention is one of the Healthy People 2030 objectives put out by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Teen dating violence falls under this objective and the statistics may surprise you. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) approximately 1 in 11 female high school students reported being the victim of physical dating violence and 1 in 9 reported sexual dating violence in the last year. Though females are more frequently on the receiving end of dating violence young males also suffer from dating violence. The CDC also reports that 1 in 15 male high school students suffer from the experience of physical dating violence and 1 in 36 males have reported sexual dating violence. It is important to understand what behavior can fall within the scope of teen dating violence and what can be done to prevent this worsening form of violence in the United States.
What Is Teen Dating Violence?
Dating violence is a specific form of violence that occurs between two individuals in a close/romantic relationship. This type of violence can carry over after efforts have been made to end a romantic relationship.
Violence in this context can include:
- Physical violence – kicking, hitting, throwing things, pushing, physically hurting/harming
- Sexual violence – forcing or trying to force a sexual act
- Psychological and/or Emotional abuse – constant put-downs and insults, threatening, name-calling, isolating an individual from family and friends, false accusations, non-verbal communication intended to harm (mentally or physically) or to control the partner.
- Stalking – showing up unwanted, following, watching, repeated and unwanted calls, messages, or texts.
It is important to understand that dating violence is not isolated to in-person relationships. It can also take place online. Adults aren’t unfamiliar with online dating, but what many adults may not be as aware of is how often teens today are dating online. It is often happening through gaming platforms and social media, not through websites designed specifically for dating.
Identifying Teen Dating Violence
Violent behaviors make an individual feel afraid and or controlled. If you are on the outside looking in you may see a teen withdraw from other important relationships in their life. You may get the sense that the teen is being controlled or may hear indications through talking with them that the individual feels there will be unwanted consequences if they don’t do what their partner wants.
The trauma and health effects that flow out of relationships with teen dating violence are not isolated to the teens involved. These outcomes are also challenging for the friends and families of these teens, and they can affect communities as well. This may seem like an overstatement, but let’s consider some of the health effects commonly seen as a result of violent dating relationships:
- Eating disorders
- mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, panic attacks
- Suicidal thoughts
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Challenges building relationships and trusting others
- Substance abuse such as alcohol and drug use
When families are dealing with the health outcomes of teen violence it can be very hard and very lonely. Having a teen who is traumatized and dealing with eating disorders, mental health challenges, and suicidal thoughts or even attempts brings with them even more pain, trauma, and confusion. Often for families, these are the first indications that their teen has experienced dating violence. It is important to take these health effects seriously and seek professional help quickly.
Combat Teen Dating Violence With Healthy Relationship Skills
Talking with your teen and keeping an open line of communication contributes to the development of healthy relationship skills that carry over into their dating relationships. Through talking to your teens you can discuss the typical warning signs of dating abuse. You can also talk about what healthy relationships look like. In a healthy relationship, both people feel valued and respected. Healthy dating relationships include enjoying and fostering each other’s interests and friendships outside of the dating relationship. In addition, open and honest communication and growing in those skills are the path to resolving conflict and disagreements. In addition, there are some research-based programs specifically designed for teen audiences that help teach them about healthy relationships and healthy boundaries in dating. The University of Georgia offers Relationship Smarts, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have a curriculum titled, “Dating Matters“.
One of the best things you can do for your teen is model healthy dating/committed relationships for your children and teens. When we see healthy relationships modeled it helps us to better identify and question ones that may not be healthy. It also helps our kids and teens to work on the relationship skills they need to be good peers, partners, and contributing members of their communities.
References 1. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2020, March 9). Preventing Teen Dating Violence. Retrieved from Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: https://www.cdc.gov/injury/features/dating-violence/index.html 2. National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Division of Violence Prevention. (2019, March 14). Dating Matters. Retrieved from Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/datingmatters/getstarted.html 3. National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Division of Violence Prevention. (2022, February 28). Fast Facts: Preventing Teen Dating Violence. Retrieved from Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/teendatingviolence/fastfact.html 4. Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion. (2022, July 21). Watch for Warning Signs of Relationship Violence. Retrieved from Health.gov: https://health.gov/myhealthfinder/healthy-living/mental-health-and-relationships/watch-warning-signs-relationship-violence 5. Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion. (2023, January). Browse Objectives. Retrieved from Healthy People 2030: https://health.gov/healthypeople/objectives-and-data/browse-objectives 6. Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion. (2023, January). Reduce sexual or physical adolescent dating violence — IVP 18. Retrieved from Healthy People 2030: https://health.gov/healthypeople/objectives-and-data/browse-objectives/violence-prevention/reduce-sexual-or-physical-adolescent-dating-violence-ivp-18 7. Teen Dating Violence. (2021). Signs of Teen Dating Violence. Retrieved from Teen Dating Violence: https://www.teendvmonth.org/resources/signs-teen-dating-violence/ 8. Youth.gov. (2022). Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. Retrieved from Youth.gov: https://youth.gov/feature-article/teen-dating-violence-awareness-and-prevention-month